Feelings Arise
by brainsbeautyandbasketball14
Summary: Emily's love life is discussed     Names like Emily, Maya, and "D" are also names of real people within my life but, I am basing them off of the characters for reasons.
1. Chapter 1

What happens when you love a girl so much, you can't stop thinking about her? Even though Maya and I are no longer together and she is now dating this guy, I can't get my mind off of her. I miss how we use to talk and now it seems as if we do not talk at all. I miss it and I miss all of it. I miss my friend. Ever since I met her I could say was wow she is beautiful. Then, to later find out she has a great personality to match it; there were no words to describe the feeling. We became very close in time and I loved every minute of it. When she told me she was gay, I think it just made our friendship stronger. I didn't expect to meet a girl like her over the summer or better yet fall in love with her. I have been holding these feelings in for a long time just because I do not want to ruin our great friendship with each other. Sooner or later, I am going to explode. Because I didn't speak up and tell her how I really feel, she is now dating this guy "D" who seems like a nice kid and no disrespect or anything but, she shouldn't be dating him. Because I want her to be with me. But, in the end all I really care about is that she is happy whether with me or him. I guess I just have to sit back and watch as she goes into the arms of another person who isn't me and be that supportive friend for he. I just hate that I didn't tell her face to face how I really feel for her. As I slowly get over the pain, that I can't have her anymore, I start to grow feelings for someone else. Some people say I am pretending to have feelings for someone else in order to get over her and in some cases I agree. We all have to move on sooner or later. Hopefully, I made the right decision. I think I just started talking to this girl to get over my feelings for Maya but, in turn we are started to actually fall for each other. What do I do now? Do I still have love for Maya or can I move on?


	2. Chapter 2

I am simply in doubt. Doubt in whether I am doing what my heart feels rather than what I think I should do. I love Maya and always will but, I feel like I have a problem with commitment. I've been in long distance relationships before and they never ended well because I always end up getting hurt. I think I am just talking/flirting with S because I am trying to get over Maya. I just want Maya to be happy but, happy with me. Is that too much to ask? But, regardless I am still going to friends with Maya but move on. I am questioning if being friends with her is even worth it. Her mom doesn't like me but, my mom doesn't either ever since I came out so, I can't blame her. She only calls me when her mom isn't around. I barely talk to her anymore it's sad. Because I love talking to her and hearing her laugh over the phone. It's adorable. Am I able to get over a girl I still partly love, in order to start a new relationship with someone who really likes me? I have to decide and I hate making decisions but, its life. So, I guess it's my time to adapt to it.


	3. Chapter 3

Do I have to wait till college to actually see you again? If so, I don't want that because I wanna be able to see you now without any judgment from your mother or anybody. I like you. What do you not get about that? And I don't think I can take it anymore. If I can't have you then I don't want to continue to be friends with you either. This is so hard for me but, this little problem shouldn't be stressing me out but, truth is its all I think about. I can't focus on anything anymore it seems because I am distracted by the thought of you and not being able to see you any time soon. I didn't think love would be this hard and difficult. And why does it seem like to your mom I am the bad guy here just because I'm gay and being me? Some of your other friends are gay and you hang around them so what if your mom found out about them too what would she say? What would she say if she found out you go to GSA? Why can't you tell her you're gay? I know its hard coming out of the closet trust me I've been through it but I made it so, why can't you? Why am I the only one being blamed for being myself? That isn't right at all. If you want this friendship to last you better fight for it or you will not only be losing a good friend and a person who loved you. I shouldn't be fighting for this all alone and now I care about you but, sooner or later I won't care at all. I sometimes think that I shouldn't have met you because then we wouldn't be in this position right now and I wouldn't be able to fall for you. But, I did fall for you and I am happy I met you so; if you are glad you met me I hope you will at least do something to save me.


	4. Chapter 4

About two months ago, I told a friend I liked her more than a friend. I would never do anything to jeopardize our friendship and I couldn't take it any longer it was killing. Then, to find out she broke up with her boyfriend. I am not going to lie but, I was happy because the girl that I liked was finally available. I felt bad for the ex though because he lost something good. But, like the person I am I told her I was sorry to hear that and accepted the fact that she might not like me the way I like her. She is beautiful in every way from her personality to her smile. I love everything about her. Now, recently she calls me and tells me she likes me too. I was speechless and not in a bad way but, rather excited to the point where I screamed of joy after I got off the phone with her and on top of that I could not stop smiling the whole night. She has finally come to the light and seen that I am here and always have been. Life is going great now. I have the girl I've wanted for a year now and she likes me back. But, I am keeping it slow and steady because I do not want to risk our friendship and this something more that we are becoming. I don't want to rush this by any means. And the less my parents know the better. They would flip. I am not very excited about lying to my parents just to see her but, if that is what I have to do let it be. I'll do it for her. I'll take that risk for her. Nothing can rain on my parade because I am finally happy because I have everything I have been wishing for and that includes the perfect girl. Will this something more with her work? We go to two different high schools, both parents do not approve of gay anything and college in a year. I hope this works. We will see but, for right now I am taking things slow because I do not want to lose something and someone so special to me. I hope for good results.


End file.
